“He who covers an offense seeks love, but whoever repeats a matter separates close friends.” Prov 17:9
Well, I don’t know about y’all – but between slander (yesterday) and gossip I am doomed. I might as well become a hermit and go live in a cave in Ethiopia somewhere.
Goodness! We are women and we like to talk. There are a million good things that come out of us talking – like love, support, encouragement, help, correction, wisdom, and a ton of useful information. But apparently not all talking is good. You know this instinctively.
So what is gossip? It is idle, unproductive talk about somebody else’s business. In the old King James English a gossip was called a “talebearer”… the one who repeats stories about the affairs of another.
There are many reasons why we might gossip: Trying to establish camaraderie with others (getting accepted into the group). Wanting to be the center of attention. Feeling superior to someone else. Envy. Boredom with your own life (too much idle time).
In Titus 2:3 we are specifically told to teach younger women to not be malicious gossips. And in I Timothy 5:14 we are told that too much free time often causes women to become busybodies! As our book notes, “It has been my own observation that those who are ardently pursuing their own goals and aspirations are less likely to spend time discussing the affairs of another.”
Gossip is not always mean. Sometimes it is a sincere interest in someone else.
But gossip is ALWAYS you talking about somebody else’s business when they are not there.
So maybe the simple gossip test is to ask yourself – Would I say that if she were here?
Let’s work at minding our own business. Don’t be a talebearers.
“A gossip (talebearer) goes around spreading rumors (revealing secrets), while a trustworthy man tries to quiet them.” Prov 11:13 TLB/NASB
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30 Days to Taming Your Tongue, a Bible study by Deborah Pegues
I’m with you… These are tough. I like to disguise slander and gossip both a venting, then it’s just me blowing off steam with a coworker. But it is wrong…and now I realize sometimes Think I’m better than the person I’m talking about. Ok now that I know I can work to stop.
Ah, venting. I mutter to myself a lot… Don’t think that qualifies as gossip. But it probably reveals more about my heart than I’d like. Courage, friend!
“I like to disguise slander and gossip both as venting, then it’s just me blowing off steam” Wow Amy did you nail me!! Thank you for being so honest and shedding light in a dark place. Thank you Mindy for putting yourself on the “frontline” and exposing us to His truth about ourselves! Haven’t been following this post but caught up today! Will be ordering the book!
Glad to have you with us! You can get the book electronically if you want…