“Avoiding a fight is a mark of honor, only fools insist on quarreling.” Proverbs 20:3
Why do some people always seem to be looking for a fight?
Do you know this argumentative type? They seem to enjoy resisting anyone whose viewpoint is different from theirs.
Some people become quarrelers because they grew up in a home where arguing was a way of life, it was a pattern, it was normal to fight about things. I know some couples like that – they just always seem to be arguing, it’s how they resolve conflict. I don’t know how they live with all the tension and unpleasant words – I couldn’t do it. I married a peacemaker – and every time I get all wound up about something he remains calm and refuses to fight. Early in our marriage it annoyed me – but now I am so grateful. How many destructive words are said in a fight, and never taken back?
Another reason some people resort to quarreling is to bolster their own self-worth. They feel better about themselves at the expense of others. Other people are just quick to anger, selfish or self-absorbed, or needing to display their intellectual superiority.
The funny thing is, the more you argue, the less people take your point of view seriously. And it certainly is not a way to win friends, influence people, or get invited to dinner parties!
“Again I say, do not get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. The Lord’s servants must not quarrel but be kind to everyone.” 2 Timothy 2:23
My goal today (as I negotiate with my sod company!) is to learn to disagree without being disagreeable. I need to be careful how I disagree with others, lest I compromise my testimony.
Remember, it costs you absolutely nothing to respect someone’s opinion – especially on matters that have no eternal consequences.
“Beginning a quarrel is like opening a floodgate, so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.” Proverbs 17:14
30 Days to Taming Your Tongue, a Bible Study by Deborah Pegues