Ten minutes ago I dropped my 5th grade daughter off at the junior high school gym for her first day of a week-long clinic and try-outs for the dance team. I think she’s very brave to be trying out before she’s even started school over there. I clearly was more nervous than she was today – I was fussing over what she was going to wear (memorable but not too flashy!), over her fingernail polish colors, her ponytail style, and so on until she kicked me out of her room and said “Mom, I’m fine!”
When we got to the gym there were 40-50 girls chatting with their friends, stretching, and practicing their twirls… I am still nervous for her. The excessively all-inclusive American style where everyone gets to play and everyone gets a medal comes screeching to a halt in 6th grade. Some of them will make the team, the others will not. Some will be kind, some will not. My stomach is in knots for my little girl – dear God please take care of her!
I guess I project some of my own insecurities onto her. Doesn’t everyone like to be picked for the team?! But sometimes things don’t turn out that way.
How much of your life have you wasted trying to gain the approval of others?
“Our self concept is determined not only by how we view ourselves but by how we think others perceive us. Basing our self worth on what we believe others think of us causes us to become addicted to their approval. … the world we live in is filled with people who demand that we please them in exchange for their approval and acceptance. We are snared by a lie – I must be approved by certain others to feel good about myself. We bow to peer pressure, we find it difficult to open up and reveal our true selves, we develop superficial relationships, and we become lonely. “ (adapted from Robert McGee’s Search for Significance)
Galatians 1:10 says, “For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond servant of Christ.”
We can ultimately seek either the approval of men, or the approval of God as the basis of our self-worth. We cannot seek both.
Thank God that we can be reconciled to Him, there is no longer any condemnation for those who are in Christ, and that we are loved and accepted unconditionally by Him!! His determination of our value is NOT based on our performance! Be free, approval addicts, be free.
And check out this awesome new song from Britt Nicole called “Gold” about how God values us: