Matthew 14 recounts an extremely challenging day in the lives of the disciples. Anger. Fear. Grief. Exhaustion. Weariness. Despair. They are beaten and battered.

This awful day started with news of the beheading of John the Baptist by Herod Antipas, after manipulation by his wife and stepdaughter (14:1-12). The disciples who respectfully buried John the Baptist’s body came to tell Jesus what had occurred. Shock. Grief. Anger at a powerful political system that committed such a murder. “When Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a desolate place…” (14:13). Jesus is grieved by John’s death, and he withdraws with his disciples to process this emotionally distressing event out of sight from the crowds.

But the news spread, and the crowds were disturbed that the Roman-appointed ruler for the region had killed one of their leaders, a godly man. “When the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns” (14:13). The crowds were carrying anger and grief too, and they came in droves to find Jesus. If you have ever gathered with a large group to light a candle and mourn the sudden, shocking loss of someone in your community – that was the feeling in the air that day.

The disciples were grieving and exhausted and they asked Jesus to send the crowds away (14:15). They could not deal with all the people anymore. (Have you ever felt that way?!) Jesus responds differently. “He saw the great crowd and he had compassion on them, and he healed their sick” (14:14). Jesus multiplies the five loaves of bread and two fish to feed the thousands of people who had gathered. It’s an amazing miracle. But note who hands out food to more than five thousand people – the disciples. Maybe they thought it was the neatest miracle ever. Maybe they just wanted to sit down and cry and not have anyone bother them for anything. The disciples are weary.

Jesus sees their weariness and “immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds” (14:22). Finally, they have an escape and a moment of peace. But that’s not what happens. Jesus goes off the pray by himself, and the disciples in the boat battle a very rough storm for hours and hours and they are terrified. They are exceedingly exhausted.

Jesus goes out to the boat, walking on the water, calms the storm, and announces himself to the disciples as the great I AM who commands the wind and the waves. There is peace – shalom – in the presence of Jesus. “Come to me all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28-29).

Psalm 34 speaks to difficult days like this: “I sought the Lord and He answered me and delivered me form all my fears… The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him and delivers them… The eyes of the Lord are one the righteous and his ears toward their cry… The Lord is near to the broken hearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”