Archive for the ‘Book Reviews’ Category

Mutual Submission and Marriage

Posted in All Posts, Book Reviews, Parenting, tagged , , , , , , , , , on January 25, 2013 | 1 Comment »

Submit?!  Arrrgh.  The first book someone gave me on this topic was called “Me, Obey Him?” and I threw it across the room and resolved not to read it…  It sat there for a good six months, mocking me.  Sometimes we women become overly dramatic about the idea of having to submit to our husbands!

It is my personal opinion that our angst is usually a result of misconceptions of submission, or having married a man who does not understand or embrace his part – the part about loving your wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for it.  (Eph. 6:25)

Another reason for our angst about submission is that the context of Eph. 6:22 “Wives submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” is often forgotten.  The correct context is from the previous verse, Eph. 6:21, which reads “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ Jesus.”

So what does that mean?  We were talking in our small group a few nights ago about this very idea – the idea of “mutual submission“.  Here’s what it means according to Andy Stanley,

“I will leverage all of the power, energy, and resources at my disposal for the benefit of other members of the family.” 

Did you catch that?  It’s not all about me!  It’s about me working for what is best for my spouse and kids.  It’s about leaning IN toward the middle of the family circle to help others, rather than leaning OUT and away from engagement and responsibility.

Here is the question that we should be asking our spouse and kids daily, “What can I do to help?”

Now that can be a scary question!  However, it is a question we need to get in the habit of asking - every single day.  What do you need from me?  How can I help?  That is the question Jesus asked.   It was time-consuming, energy-consuming, unpredicatable, frightening. It was the ultimate question that cost Him his life.

It was an unselfish question.  Marriage and parenting are about learning to be unselfish.

On that note, let me recommend a book that changed my view of marriage – it’s not a practical, how-to book.  It’s a book that says – “Wait!  You are thinking about this all wrong. Marriage is not really about making you happy!”

SACRED MARRIAGE by Gary Thomas, (Zondervan, 2000).  sacredmarriage

Gary Thomas asks a shocking question:  “What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?”  Thomas’ argument is that marriage is one of God’s primary vehicles for character change.  “If you want to become more like Jesus, I can’t imagine any better thing to do than get married.  Being married forces you to face some character issues you’d never have to face otherwise.”  After all, marriage is a temporary institution (’til death do us part), designed to last while we are on this earth (no marriage in heaven), and destined to help us develop an eternal relationship with God.  Thomas has chapters on how marriage teaches us to love, to respect others, to persevere, to forgive, to serve, as well as how it exposes our sin, and teaches us more about God.   If we truly believe that we are called to holiness and not happiness, then maybe we ought to reshape our thoughts on marriage!

I’m going to work on being unselfish this week.  I am going to ask, “What can I do to help?” and not flinch when the answer comes back.  Will you join me?

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The Self-Deprecating Tongue (#8)

Posted in All Posts, Book Reviews, Devotional Thoughts, Taming the Tongue, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on May 9, 2012 | 6 Comments »

The words we’re talking about today are silent words, words inside our heads – probably more thoughts than actual words.  Different than other word-types we’ve discussed.  More sinister.  More damning.  More damaging perhaps.

Self-deprecating words are all the mean, ugly, devaluing things that you say to yourself.  Negative thoughts.  Dark things we think about ourselves, but rarely say in public.  Destructive labels we have allowed to stick to us like glue.  Labels like stupid, lazy, fat, ugly, hopeless, messy, useless, incapable, unworthy…  You know those words?

Moses said some of those things about himself – I’m not eloquent, my speech is slow, my tongue gets stuck. (Ex 4:10-11)

Gideon said some things about himself as well – My family is not important, I am the youngest, I am not significant. (Judges 6:11-16)

And Jeremiah too – I am too young, I don’t know how to speak. (Jer 1:4-7)

And in each case God said (Mindy paraphrase) – I chose you.  I made you the way you are.  I have a plan for you.  My strength is made perfect in your weakness.  I will help you.  I will make you capable.  I will give you everything you need.  And I forgive you, so how about forgiving yourself?

Remember that WHO you are and WHAT you struggle with are NOT the same thing.  Do not confuse your identity with your struggles.  Do not let the lies of Satan sneak into your head and keep repeating them!

What negative label has someone else (or yourself) imposed on you that you have accepted as truth?

When Moses complained that he was inadequate, God was upset with him…  even insulted.  “The Lord said to him, “Who gave man his mouth?  Who makes him deaf or mute?  Who gives him sight or makes him blind?  Is it not I, the Lord?  Now go; I will help you speak and I will teach you what to say.” Ex 4:11-12

The truth about who you are in Christ is beautiful – and life changing.  Here is a list of what the Bible says about Who You Are in Christ – print it out, look them up, repeat them to yourself daily if necessary – until the lies and labels are gone.

Who I am in Christ

John 8:32 tells us that “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”  Focus your mind on truth, God’s truth about you – and let go of the negative, self-deprecating words.

My favorite Bible study on this topic is called Me, Myself, and Lies: A Thought Closet Makeover by Jennifer Rothschild.

—

30 Days to Taming Your Tongue, a Bible study by Deborah Pegues

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30 Days to Taming Your Tongue

Posted in All Posts, Book Reviews, Taming the Tongue, tagged , , , on April 27, 2012 | 7 Comments »

Sounds like a dream come true, no?  If only it were that easy!  “No one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison.  With it we bless our Lord and with it we curse men… these things ought not to be this way!” James 3:9-10

I have been convicted lately that I need to work on controlling my tongue.  I mentioned this little book to my Sunday School group and asked if anyone was BRAVE enough to tackle reading it with me.  I was shocked when they said Yes – “We’re all going down together!”  Ha ha.

So for the next 30 days or so we will be reading together and sharing our thoughts on this blog site.  A virtual Bible study… For women with jobs, sick kids, soccer games, piles of laundry, dog hair in the hallway, and no obvious free time!

Come read with us…  The book is available electronically or in paper form (if you’re a highlighter, mark up the text, and fold the pages kind of gal like me!).

The only hope for the tongue is the Spirit of God – let’s allow Him to work in us!

 

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Team Tryouts and Approval Addicts

Posted in All Posts, Book Reviews, Devotional Thoughts, tagged , , , , , , , , on April 2, 2012 | Leave a Comment »

Ten minutes ago I dropped my 5th grade daughter off at the junior high school gym for her first day of a week-long clinic and try-outs for the dance team. I think she’s very brave to be trying out before she’s even started school over there. I clearly was more nervous than she was today – I was fussing over what she was going to wear (memorable but not too flashy!), over her fingernail polish colors, her ponytail style, and so on until she kicked me out of her room and said “Mom, I’m fine!”

When we got to the gym there were 40-50 girls chatting with their friends, stretching, and practicing their twirls… I am still nervous for her. The excessively all-inclusive American style where everyone gets to play and everyone gets a medal comes screeching to a halt in 6th grade. Some of them will make the team, the others will not. Some will be kind, some will not. My stomach is in knots for my little girl – dear God please take care of her!

I guess I project some of my own insecurities onto her. Doesn’t everyone like to be picked for the team?! But sometimes things don’t turn out that way.

How much of your life have you wasted trying to gain the approval of others?

“Our self concept is determined not only by how we view ourselves but by how we think others perceive us. Basing our self worth on what we believe others think of us causes us to become addicted to their approval. … the world we live in is filled with people who demand that we please them in exchange for their approval and acceptance. We are snared by a lie – I must be approved by certain others to feel good about myself. We bow to peer pressure, we find it difficult to open up and reveal our true selves, we develop superficial relationships, and we become lonely. “ (adapted from Robert McGee’s Search for Significance)

Galatians 1:10 says, “For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond servant of Christ.”

We can ultimately seek either the approval of men, or the approval of God as the basis of our self-worth. We cannot seek both.

Thank God that we can be reconciled to Him, there is no longer any condemnation for those who are in Christ, and that we are loved and accepted unconditionally by Him!! His determination of our value is NOT based on our performance! Be free, approval addicts, be free.

And check out this awesome new song from Britt Nicole called “Gold” about how God values us:

 

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What Defines You?

Posted in All Posts, Book Reviews, tagged , , , , , , , , on February 28, 2012 | 1 Comment »

Today’s guest blog is written by Jimmie Davis, girls’ minister and author.  She’s also one of the most humble women of God you’ll ever meet. http://blogs.lifeway.com/blog/girlsministry/

While I was at LifeWay for a conference two years ago, Pam Gibbs handed me the book Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership by Ruth Haley Barton, and told me it was a “must read” for anyone in ministry. I read a few chapters and it was extremely convicting, so I politely put it away not to pick it up again until a few months ago. Since that time, the Lord has used this book to remind me that who I am personally is intricately interwoven into my ministry with teenage girls, but my ministry does not define me.

In the book, Ruth uses the life of Moses as a prime example. She points out that growing up Moses didn’t really know if he was an Egyptian or a Hebrew. He didn’t really know who his mama was and certainly was confused at the deep compassion he felt for the injustices shown to the Hebrew people even though he was raised as an Egyptian, the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. Moses’ built-up anger over his life’s circumstances came out when he saw an Egyptian being cruel to a Hebrew and his rage turned into murder. Moses fled to the desert and had to spend forty years in solitude with God to let the dust settle so he could clearly see and settle his identity crisis. Finally when Moses had spent enough time in silence, God called and he was ready to listen. Moses’ personality, his handicap, his upbringing, his heritage, and his very own story equipped him to go and face Pharaoh, lead the Hebrew children out of bondage, survive in the dessert for forty more years, and fulfill God’s plan for his life.

I’m not saying you have to spend forty years in silence; what person can do that, really? However, I have learned that spending time in solitude before God will allow the dust to settle and you will be able to see who you are and hear God’s call of leadership. In times of solitude, God will remind you that you are not defined by your ministry, but you are defined by His presence in your life. Solitude in the presence of God on your leadership journey will keep you close to Him and that is completely satisfying.

The book also points out that God led Moses to the top of Mount Nebo and showed him the Promised Land. God told him that he could see it, but he would never go there. No argument, no response; Moses was completely satisfied. Barton says, “He no longer needed a role, a task, or responsibility to define him. For him, the presence of God was his promised land.”

This is a painful reality in ministry. We might have a great vision for girls’ ministry and serve long and hard, but for some reason God removes us from our place of service. Like Moses, maybe someone else will come in and take your vision to a new and different level. When the presence of God defines you, there will be no argument, no response; you will be completely at peace with whatever circumstance comes your way. I encourage you to seek Him in solitude today—for that is the place where the peace comes.

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The Character of a Leader, Dependence

Posted in All Posts, Book Reviews, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on February 7, 2012 | Leave a Comment »

How convicted I have been these last two weeks! It’s taken me extra long to read the next section in Dr. Crawford Lorritts’ book Leadership as an Identity because I keep saying, “Oh my gosh, that’s me!” I have been overwhelmed with a sense that God has granted me some extraordinary opportunities in this life, but also that I have completely gotten in the way of His work at other times…

You may recall from my last blog post that Lorritts is writing about the four common character traits of Christian leaders who wield a lasting influence. The first character trait was Brokenness. The second he calls “Uncommon Communion” – a deep, intimate walk with God that goes beyond daily times of prayer and Bible study, a sense of being absorbed by the presence of God – a place where we as leaders are often driven because of the enormity of the task before us and our awareness that we desperately need God’s help. You could call it “Dependence”.

Here’s what Dr. Loritts has to say:

On God’s Resources:

The problem [in this instance] was that he was too aware of his gifts and experience. He assumed those were the key to his success. He thought he had a lot to offer God… If your primary calling card is the belief that your skills, education, and experience make you capable of fulfilling God’s assignments for you, you are in trouble.

In a certain sense you may, in fact, be the best qualified and the best leader. But when the source of your leadership is your personal competency, the contribution you make to the assignment God has given you will – in the long run – be mediocre at best. That is because God gives leaders assignments beyond their ability to accomplish.

“Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.” Psalm 127:1

We must be committed to developing the gifts and talents God has given to us. And, of course, competency is a good thing. But there is a problem when we view these things are the reason why God uses us and as the source of our effectiveness and success. Never underestimate the power of self-deception and the pull towards self-reliance. Do not trust yourself, but return to God as your source for everything.

“Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit says the Lord.” Zechariah 4:6

On God’s Character-Building Program:

God is using what He has given you to do to not only accomplish his assignments but to make you what He wants you to become. It is important that you do not separate God’s assignments from His character building program. The assignment He has given you is being used to accelerate your sanctification. In leadership you will find suffering, personal struggles that do not go away, failure, and success through hardship. Leadership implies a willingness to take others to a place where none of you has been before. Leadership is the ability to endure. There can be no leadership apart from adversity and hard times. Your credibility to lead is in direct relationship to your ability to endure.

On God’s Direction:

Leadership is fueled by a compelling sense of mission. What inspires us to take action is an irresistible picture of either what should be done or what could be done. We then focus our determination to make it happen. This is true of all leadership.

But there is more. Christian leadership is all about doing what God wants done. There is no leadership apart from a clear assignment from God. One of the most dangerous things for a Christian leader to do is to make assumptions about what God wants done. God wants to tell us what He wants to do. Planning is not wrong, self reliance is wrong.

Do not move if you are not sure God is with you. The only thing worse that waiting on the Lord is wishing that you had! Act when His instructions are clear, and then keep coming to Him when you don’t know what to do next.

Fight to maintain the discipline of coming into God’s presence to discern what He wants you to do and how He wants to do it. There’s too much at stake for us to do otherwise. God’s assignments have eternal implications.

Beware of the “activity addiction” associated with leadership. Be careful that accomplishments do not become the reason why we are doing things. Do not let the action and the activity become the call. Beware of not listening, of not waiting, of making assumptions. Beware of taking on too much. God never meant His assignments to destroy us but rather to call us to Himself.

Once again, it’s all about dependence.

“But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves.” 2 Corinthians 4:7

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The Character of a Leader, Brokenness

Posted in All Posts, Book Reviews, tagged , , , on January 24, 2012 | 5 Comments »

After ten years of teaching on the “Biblical Essence of Leadership” at Trinity Evangelical Divinity school, Dr. Crawford Loritts wrote the book Leadership as an Identity (2009). Even a cursory glance at those who lead in the Bible reveals that they were quite a cast of characters – different personality types, abilities, experiences, successes, and failures. Dr. Loritts argues that Christian leaders who wield a lasting influence share four common character traits. They are not character traits the secular world necessarily values – but God does not look for leaders the way the world looks for leaders. Here’s what Dr. Loritts has to say:

CHARACTER TRAIT #1 – BROKENNESS

The first character trait is brokenness – a conscious, core awareness that you need God in all things. A broken person has come to realize that he is nothing and can do nothing apart from God’s presence and enabling power. “No branch can bear fruit by itself, it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in Me… apart from Me you can do nothing.” (Jn 15:4-5)

On surrendering to God:

Brokenness is not a one-time event. It is never finished, it’s an on-going process. Surrender is the leader’s response to brokenness. In fact, you cannot truly be a Christian without surrender. And God wants you to keep turning from yourself and continually turning over to Him all that you are and all the He has placed in your hands to work with. Effective Christian leadership is sustained by surrender.

Remember King Uzziah in 2 Chronicles 26? He was such an amazing leader and “As long as he sought the Lord, God made him prosper.” (v.5) But, “After Uzziah became powerful, his pride led to his downfall. He was unfaithful to the Lord his God…” (v.16)

A sense of inadequacy is vital to fruitful ministry. Brokenness is an essential pathway that we must travel to get to effective leadership. Pride gets in the way, but humility empowers leaders.

On Falling Into Sin:

Remember that you are only one decision away from losing the ability to lead. Sin so easily entangles us. We are called to exercise self control in all things as Paul writes, “I discipline my body and keep in under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.” (2 Cor 9:27) Patterns of sin should not dominate our lives. As Christian leaders we must be engaged in a constant process of self-evaluation and repentance.

On the Strength of Weakness:

The world abhors weak leaders. Yet it is the pride in us that is perhaps the worst weakness of all. In God’s world, weakness means you are useable. Remember Moses and all his excuses about why he couldn’t lead Israel out of captivity? Jesus said “My power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor 12:9)

“When God’s warrior marches forth to battle strong in his own might, defeat is not far distant.” –Charles Spurgeon

Of course, leaders are always in over their heads. That’s because God’s assignments are supernatural in nature and He gives them to us – fragile, weak, broken, clay pots! Learn to delegate, you cannot do it all.

However, once injured… You must avoid being stuck and overwhelmed by an unhealthy, wounded condition. Get back up again. Embrace and overcome your errors.

On Seasons of Brokenness:

God often takes us through seasons of brokenness to keep us under His shadow and to tie our hearts to His. Our pride must be dismantled. There are monumental wrestling matches in the life of every leader whom God would trust with His assignments. Remember Jacob, who encountered God and left with a limp? (Gen 32) God uses brokenness as a tool to prepare you for the assignments He has for you.

If a leader does not humble himself, he leaves God no choice but to humiliate him. And He will because He must. The work of His Kingdom cannot be left at the mercy of a leader who is wrapped up in himself.” – Tim Kimmel

I must ask myself…

Surrender. Self-evaluation. Repentance. Recovery. Endurance. Humility.

How am I doing? How are you doing? Let us keep our hearts right before God, so He doesn’t have to put us back in our proper places…

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Devotional Books for Kids

Posted in All Posts, Book Reviews, tagged , , on December 15, 2011 | Leave a Comment »

Here’s a good New Year’s resolution idea for you…

I’ve hunted a long time to find a devotional book I like to read with my kids at bedtime.  I’d apologize for being picky but, well… I AM picky and this is scriptural truth we’re trying to teach here so let’s not make a mess of it.  I wanted a daily reader, with a scripture passage, and an explanation of the passage and application note… written so my 7 year old and my 10 year old could get it, and with no extra stories about some kid we don’t know.  Just the passage please, explained so we can make our own application.

Four months ago I found these and we love them:

One Minute Devotionals for Girls by Carolyn Larsen, and One Minute Devotionals for Boys by Jayce O’Neal, published by Christian Art Gifts and available at most on-line book sellers.  I personally think the boys and girls are interchangeable, but they are different, and I’ll probably have the kids switch books at the end of the year so they have something new to think about.

We read them with our kids at bedtime, when there’s time to snuggle and reflect and pray together.  I’ve been surprised how often God is talking to me in the text, as well as to my kids.

And if you need a Bible story book to read through with your kids (5-9 yrs old who are not able to read the full text yet) then I recommend Egermeier’s Bible Story Book which even has comprehension questions for each passage… I have a homeschooling mom to thank for that recommendation.  We’ve been completely through it twice and my kids have got it now.  When, out of the blue, my 7 year old asked me a question yesterday about the Witch of Endor, I knew he’d been paying attention…

Make daily Bible truths a part of your bedtime routine in 2012!

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Best Bible Studies of 2011

Posted in All Posts, Book Reviews, Discipleship Tools, tagged , , , , , , on December 6, 2011 | Leave a Comment »

We asked our discipleship network to give us a list of their favorite Bible studies they had taught or participated in this year. THANK YOU!! to all who responded.

There are 29 books on the list in alphabetical order – plenty to choose from… They are varied – some are studies, some are books with study questions, some have lots of homework, some have a little homework but offer a framework for you to add your own teaching materials. Some of you like DVD studies, some of you refuse to use them… Take your pick!

Click over to the Resources page of this website to see the list.

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Book Reviews July 2011

Posted in All Posts, Book Reviews, tagged , , , , , , on July 6, 2011 | Leave a Comment »

One of my favorite things about summer is that I finally have time to read!  Here are a few books I have read recently and would recommend: 

When the Game is Over It All Goes Back in the Box, John Ortberg.

There is a German proverb that says, ”The last shirt has no pockets.”  and Psalm 49:17 warns us that “He will take nothing with him when he dies.”  Sometimes we get lost in the demands and chaos of life and it can be difficult to keep an eternal perspective.  Ortberg reminds us to be mindful of death.  His challenge is to rethink our priorities, choices, the value we place on our “stuff”, or desire for control, and our time management.  He teaches us what is important to God and calls us to value people, integrity, character, and the inner life and reminds us to be gracious at all times.  It’s a good reminder – and easy to read!

 A Woman’s Guide to Discipling, Dana Yeakley

This is a little, practical book that women who disciple others should read!  Yeakley is on Navigator staff and has collected many well-known illustrations into a succinct book.  She deals with the Great Commission,  facing your fears, the path to spiritual maturity (“B process” not the pipeline), learning to give a testimony, the Wheel of basic disciplines, the Hand, selecting a disciple, FAT-ness, topics to share on, and starting a discipler’s reference notebook.  It has some questions in each chapter and would be a great start for a mentors’ small group or one-on-one training materials.

A Resilient Life, Gordon MacDonald

“Life is not a sprint, it is a distance run and it demands the kind of conditioning that enables people to go the distance.”  Using his experiences as a distance runner, MacDonald encourages us to develop a spirit of resilience, perseverance, and endurance in life – to finish what we start, weather adversity, and never be satisfied with anything short of God’s best for us.  He outlines 25 characteristics of those who run with intentionality and finish well.  MacDonald is a great story-teller and has endured some difficult times.

 Power of  a Praying Wife, Stormie Omartian

I am liking this book!  I blogged about it earlier and wonder why I didn’t read it years ago – I could have started praying for all these things (in an organized fashion) a long time ago.  It’s making me think about my life and my husband – and relationships, priorities, reputations, temptations, purpose in life, choices, attitudes, and so much more.  It’s been a wonderful discipline for the last month and a half and I expect to refer back to it frequently.

 And I also picked up Heaven Is For Real by Todd Burpo for my plane trip back to the U.S.  A pastor’s son nearly dies on the operating table and for the next couple of years his parents piece together bits of his experience in heaven.  It’s not a theological treatise but it’s well written and will make you ponder what you know and believe about heaven.

 Happy reading!   Mindy   

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